Danger
aka: Graham. Vocal God.
Dangermouse owns a sparkly wireless microphone that works a considerable distance away from the band. Many times he has been singing, while actually sitting at home in his favourite chair catching up with a box-set. Dangermouse actually has to carry his microphone unaided to AND FROM each venue, despite repeatedly asking Mickey to make up a 100kg flight case for it to make it easier. He also has sole responsibility for all leads in the band, this includes marketing leads, all leads that connect the instruments to the speakery things and the special leads that connect Mickey to the mains supply.
When performing, Danger is literally possessed by the spirit of Dangermouse & cannot accept any responsibility for his actions. The gyrations of his lower torso have, on many occasions, caused every member of the audience to faint, leaving only the band conscious, forcing them to step over people as they pack up.
So far he has resisted wearing the Dangermouse outfit, but we all know, it is just a matter of time (especially as many female fans have asked for this in writing and he rides a Harley Davidson).
Favourite colour: Red (for Danger)
Favourite amphibian: Salamander
JP
aka: Mighty Mouse (fretboard gymnast)
Despite being overwhelmingly northern and blatantly mispronouncing the words grass, garage and castle, JP dazzles people and other animals with his finesse, prowess and power on the guitar. He only plays the most modern ELECTRIC type of guitars, all power being sourced ethically from the normally wasted energy from local crematoria. Having absolutely no shame, he freely admits in public to being the ACTUAL NEPHEW-IN-LAW of Dangermouse! Moreover, this appears at the top of his CV and makes him both more employable than the rest of the band AND irresistable to the ladies (except the octo and nono-generians who insist on mothering Mickey). JP has successfully reproduced TWICE and has recently increased his weekly amount of sleep to three hours. The rhythm section actually use some of his spare youthful energy during the second half of each performance , which he sells to them in the form of an injection, administered by their personal physicians.
Named after a Pope and with God on his side, the band dare not sack him for fear of being barred entry into the Kingdom of Heaven (although Mickey has already blotted his copybook somewhat in that department). Also owning a Harley Davidson, he is contractually obliged to wear checked shirts and bite the heads off doves.
Favourite colour: Puce
Favourite amphibian: Poison Arrow Frog
Micky
aka: Derek. (full stage name: Micky Cheddar) Bass-Bishop & Rhythm King, owns 5403 bass guitars – all the colours, in all the sizes!
Micky, in conjunction with his rhythm buddy Speedy, lays down killer grooves that have been known to make an audience weep, such is the emotion induced. His powerful bass accompaniment has also been known to loosen bowel movements in cases where the medical profession had given up all hope.
Recently, he achieved a life-long ambition and now owns 90% of the bass guitars that were ever manufactured, often bringing most of the collection to the gig. All of his bass amplifiers have a volume knob that goes up to 27 so that, if a band member asks him to “turn down”, he can back it off to 11. Mickey remains the only band member to have his equipment catch light during a gig (and by “equipment”, I don’t mean his genitalia). Like Speedy he is adored by elderly women with carers and the potential for Equity Release.
As well as being three times winner of “Mr Watford” (and he has the sashes to prove it), Mickey enjoys cruises, especially the chocolate fountains, which are apparently available throughout the day AND night.
Favourite colour: Creamy Peach
Favourite amphibian: Crested Newt
Speedy
aka: Paul. Known as ‘Speedy’ in recognition of his variable timekeeping, he owns a very nice SPARKLY gold kit and would like to make it clear that he has hardly ever been gay!
Speedy’s drumming trademark is pulling ridiculous faces whilst in the process of drumming. He likes to think people are laughing with him, so please don’t spoil the illusion. His drumming style is unincumbered by rhythm, leaving him free to play both behind AND in front of the beat. It is for this reason he is in big demand in the rural community as a bird scarer. One of Speedy’s favourite pastimes is waving goodbye to the other members of the band at the end of the evening as he continues to pack up and lift heavy items into his car unaided.
Being the oldest member of the band, he has been often been mistaken for JP’s father or inappropriate uncle. He has learned to live with this and is actually slightly proud.
Favourite colour: Bandicoot Bronze
Favourite amphibian: Fire-bellied toad
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry…
aka. Jerry Mouse (the only Mouse born with a mouse name)
Dedicated MWG followers may have noticed that our original guitar maestro Sir Jerry has now stepped down, with the young whippersnapper JP boldly going where no musician has gone before. Sadly, a tinnitus issue has necessitated a move to acoustic gigs only now, with occasional outdoor festival appearances. On these occasions he is helicoptered in from his villa, and is available after the show for signing bootleg albums AND actual bootlegs if required.
With his managerial experience, he is thankfully still in charge of band discipline and has been known to smack members of the rhythm section to bring them into line (although Speedy actually believes this was illegal). Any band discipline issues will still be forwarded to him through HR. Godspeed Sir Jerry!